Lesson 2

A Forgiving Kind Of Guy

Philemon 4-7

We live in an ego-centered, selfish society that knows and cares little about forgiveness. Our culture is so decadent and non-Christian as to see forgiving people as weak, and unforgiving ones as strong. Our culture celebrates and exalt those TV and movie heroes who vengeance on others. Psychologists say that it is healthy to make those who offend us pay. Retaliation and lawsuits are rampantly commonplace. The result is a society filled with bitterness, vengeance, anger, hate, and hostility. Further, lack of forgiveness is perhaps the leading cause of the breakups in family relationships.

For a Christian, unwillingness to forgive is a blatant, open act of disobedience to God. We are to forgive others as God has forgiven us. Eph. 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Col. 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Failure to forgive will bring at least four fatal fruits. First, failure to forgive will imprison believers in their past. Unforgivrness keeps the pain alive. It keeps the sore open; it never allows the wound to heal. Dwelling on the wrong done feeds anger and resentment and robs one of the joy of living. Forgiveness, on the other hand, opens the prison doors and sets the believer free from the past.

Second, unforgiveness produces bitterness. The longer believers dwell on offenses committed against them, the more bitter them become. Bitterness is not just a sin; it is an infection. The writer of Hebrews (12:15) warns, "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled." A bitter person's speech is cutting, sarcastic and even slanderous. Bitterness distorts one's whole outlook on life, producing violent emotions, intolerance and thoughts of revenge. It is especially devastating to the marriage relationship. Bitterness shuts off the affection and kindness that should exist between partners. The root of bitterness will often produce the weed of divorce. Forgiveness, on the other hand, replaces bitterness with love, joy, peace and the other fruits of the Spirit.

Third, unforgiveness gives Satan an open door. Paul warns believers in Ephesians 4:26-27 "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil." Perhaps most of the ground that Satan gains in our lives is due to unforgiveness.

Fourth, unforgiveness hinders our fellowship with God. Matthew 6:14-15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. I cannot be right with God if I will not forgive others.

The importance of forgiveness is a constant theme in the Scriptures. In fact, there are no less than seventy-five word pictures about forgiveness in the Bible. Forgiveness is so important that the Holy Spirit devoted an entire book of the Bible to it. In the brief book of Philemon, the spiritual duty to forgive is emphasized, not in principle, not in parable, not in word picture but through a real life situation involving two people who were both very dear to Paul.

After the standard greeting and introduction (vs. 1-3), Paul describes the kind of person that Philemon is in verses 4-7. From this we can learn about what kind of person it takes to forgive. Here is a description of the spiritual character of one who forgives.

Paul begins the main body of his letter by praising (though not flattering) Philemon. Paul knew nothing negative about Philemon. Paul does not correct Philemon and there is not suggestion that anything was amiss in his life. Everything Paul had heard about Philemon was good. And so when Paul prayed he was able always to (v. 4) "thank God making mention of (Philemon) in (his) prayers."

The virtuous character of Philemon then becomes the foundation upon which Paul bases his appeal for him to forgive Onesimus. The character of Philemon demonstrated that he was a forgiving kind of guy. But what constitutes the character of one who forgives?

His Salvation

"hearing of (the) faith which thou hast toward the Lord Jesus Christ ", v. 5.

Having been saved, having been forgiven of our sins by God, makes a Christian able to forgive. Further, having the Holy Spirit indwelling us, convicting us about the right and wrong way to handle a given situation in which we have been wronged gives us the desire to forgive. And so, you see, our faith and our forgiveness go together. Our salvation helps us to be forgiving.

Now that is not to say that there is no capacity in an unbeliever for forgiveness. Sure, unbelievers can be forgiving. I do believe, however, that unbelievers, who are under the control of the world, the flesh and the devil generally find it more difficult to demonstrate genuine forgiveness, see Romans 3:10-16, esp. 16. A saved person is more likely to be a forgiving kind of guy.

His Love For Christians

"hearing of thy love toward all saints", v. 5.

A little Greek grammar lesson is necessary. Verse 5 exhibits what is known as a "chiastic construction" which means that the first part of the verse, "love", goes with the last part of the verse, "toward all saints".

Philemon had a reputation of being a lover of the people of God. He loved Christians. This is character trait which all Christians should exhibit. 1 John 3:14 We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. We are taught by God to love one another (I Thess. 4:9). The love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). Our love for the people of God should make us forgiving. I know that is hard to love someone who has hurt you and wronged you. But that is exactly what we are suppose to do. Anybody can love a friend, but only Christ can enable us to look beyond someone's offensive words and actions and love them in spite of what they have done and forgive them for what they have done.

His Righteousness, v. 6.

Verse 6 is sort of difficult to decipher. As Paul thanks God in his prayers for Philemon, he also prays that the good things that are within Philemon, which he would readily acknowledge are because of Jesus Christ, will result in a powerful and effective sharing of his faith. In other words, Paul is saying to Philemon, "Listen you are a righteous man, Philemon, righteous meaning you want to do what is right, and you would acknowledge that all the good things that are in you came from Christ. Now, I'm praying that God will use your doing what is right, your willingness to forgive Onesimus, to become a powerful sharing of your faith."

If we are righteous people, that is, if we want to do what is right, we will be forgiving. And our willingness to forgive, because it is the right to do, though certainly never the easy thing to do, will be a power witness to others of our faith in Christ.

His Ministry, v. 7.

Philemon had a reputation for refreshing the saints. Bowels refers to the seat of feelings. People struggling, suffering, hurting emotionally had been refreshed by Philemon. Philemon brought troubled people rest and renewal.

So far as we know, Philemon was not a pastor, a preacher, a deacon, a teacher in the church. Most likely, he was a businessman. But he had a ministry. His ministry was that he was a source of blessing to everyone. The church met in his house. The first historical record that exists of churches owning buildings is in the third century. First century churches met in homes. And the church at Colossae met in Philemon's home, v. 2. He used his house for ministry. Not only was it a meeting place for the church, it was also a lodging place for traveling missionaries, v. 22. You get the picture that Philemon was the kind of guy whose ministry it was to just be a blessing to other people. That kind of person, Paul knew, could be counted on to forgive.

If God can so tenderly forgive us, can we not, like Philemon, have the character - the salvation, the love, the righteousness, the ministry - that forgives others?

How about it? Isn't it about time that you became a forgiving kind of guy or gal?