Chapter 38
Getting Along With Unbelievers
Romans 12:17-21
So how is your G.A.W.O.P. this week? How are you getting along with other people? We learned about it from the Bible last Sunday. Has it made a difference in your life this week? Have you done any better at getting along with other people this week than you did last week? Have you been more gracious and more unselfish and enthusiastic and hopeful, more consistent and prayerful, more generous and hospitable? I hope so!
The Bible is not just a book to be read and learned, it is a book to be lived! A sermon is not just an avenue for me to display my spiritual gifts publicly, it is a communication of divine truth to motivate us to change.
In Romans 12:17-21, Paul continues to write about human relationships. But now his focus is not on relationships between believers, relationships within the family of God and within the church. His focus is on our relationships with unbelievers. And Paul divides unbelievers into two general groups, so far as our relationships with them. There is the general public and then there are our enemies.
Getting Along With The Public, vv. 17-18
In both verse 17 and 18 is the phrase "all men." Here, then, Paul is writing about how we are to relate to all, to the general public. There are 3 specific instructions for Christians with regard to the public.
Counteract Your Natural Human Instincts - "Recompense to no man evil for evil." This is an implication here. There is something that is implied but not explicitly stated. It is that we can expect to be the recipients of evil - the word means "depraved, injurious, bad, harm, ill, noisome, wicked" (Strong's). We shouldn't be surprised that sinners sin and when that sin manifests itself as antagonism to Christians, read Matthew 10:16-18, 22-25; I Peter 4:12-14. Implied in Paul's instruction is that we should anticipate and expect to have evil hurled at us. I am certainly not trying to instill within you a martyr complex but I am trying to just be realistic.
The question is "How are we to respond when we experience evil." So often we rely upon our natural instincts for our responses. One of the hardest thing to teach a young driver is to steer into a skid or to stay off the brakes on ice. It's just not the natural instinct. But sometime the natural instinct is wrong. I have had one experience in trying to snow ski. Carla and I were in the Rockies with friends who took us skiing. I was too cheap to pay for ski lessons. (It nearly choked me to pay for the ski rental and the lift ticket). Besides I had all of these friends who wanted to teach me to ski. (Never try to ski when you have 11 teachers). One of the things that I learned the hard way about skiing is that when you want to slow down, you don't lean backwards. Now, it's natural to lean back when you want to slow down. But on snow skis leaning back actually speeds things up. I felt like I was going too fast, so I leaned back in order to slow down and I didn't slow down, I started going faster, so I leaned back further. You get the picture. It wasn't pretty. It probably was funny. But not to me. My point is that you can't always rely on your natural instincts.
What are our natural instincts when it comes to someone who hurls evil at us? Hurl back. The guy in the car next to you shakes his fist or uses other sign language and what is your instinct? We want to say, "Bring it on!" The sales clerk is snippy or the customer is arrogant or the person on the other end of the telephone is insensitive and our natural instinct is to reflect back to them some of what they have directed at us.
But, according to the Bible, that reaction may be natural but it is not right for the Christian. God calls us to a supernatural response. He calls upon us to reflect back to them, not their own character, but the character of Jesus Christ. To "recompense to no man evil for evil." Counteract your natural human instincts.
Honest In Advance - "Provide things honest in the sight of all men." It is interesting to note that the word "provide" means "to consider in advance, to lookout for beforehand" or, in other words, to plan. Plan on being honest from the start.
It is important to know what you are going to do beforehand. If we wait until something happens to decide, we will have many more temptations. For example, I advice unmarried people to plan in advance what kind of commitment you are going to require from a potential marriage partner. If you determine in advance that you will not marry an unbeliever, I am only going to marry a faithful and committed Christian, then you are not going to wrestle with a lot of temptations that come to those who wait to decide. Suddenly Mr. Drop Dead Gorgeous appears, who is not a Christian and you decide that well, maybe it's not essential that I marry a Christian. So you are tempted to do something which will disobey God's Word. But if you decide in advance, Must be a committed Christian, then Mr. Gorgeous is not a consideration, not a temptation.
What Paul writes here is that we should decide in advance to be honest. When we think of honesty, we usually think in terms of money and business. And certainly that idea is included in this word. You should determine in advance that in all your business dealings you are going to be honest. You will not lie, you will not cheat, you will not cut corners, you will keep proper records and honest books. Determine in advance that you are just going to be an honest person. If the cashier gives you the wrong change, your going to be honest. When you figure your taxes, no fudging. On your expense account no cheating. When bidding a job, no little lies about when the job can get started. When I come into a big windfall of cash, no question about whether I will tithe.
But this honesty is not just about telling the truth nor just about our financial and business dealings. Actually, the word means "what is right." Just do what is right and determine it in advance. So many of our dilemmas would be so easily solved if we determined that in every situation I am not going to be guided by what is easiest, or what is most profitable for me, but my guiding principle is what is right. Let the whole world see that you are an honest person who is committed to doing what is right.
Try To Live In Peace With Everyone, "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." The last phrase of verse 18 states the ultimate goal - "live peaceably with all men." Get along with everybody. Get along with your neighbors. Get along with your in-laws. Get along with your co-workers. Get along with your classmates. Get along with your boss. Get along with your employees. Get along with the clerks and shopkeepers. Get along with your fellow travelers in the highway. Get along with the meanest and most undeserving. Live peaceably with all men.
But God is a realist. He knows and understands that getting along is a two-way street. By definition, a peaceful relationship cannot be one-sided. And so, God adds to this verse - if it is possible, so far as it depends upon you. Your responsibility is to make sure that your side of the relationship is right. Short of compromising God's truth and standards, we should be willing to go to great lengths to build peaceful bridges to all men.
Getting Along With Your Enemy, vv. 19-21
That sounds like a contradiction of terms, doesn't it? The truth is that the Bible does not deny that even Christians have enemies. The Bible doesn't say, "Don't have any enemies." Nations have enemies and so do individuals. Enemies are a fact of life. Jesus had enemies. So did Paul and the Apostles. There are enemies of the cross.
But what the Bible talks about is how we treat our enemies. Jesus acknowledged that we have enemies when He said (Matthew 5:44) But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despite-fully use you, and persecute you. That's a strange way to treat your enemy, isn't it? Love him, bless him, do good to him and pray for him. We'd rather hate than love, curse than bless and criticize than pray for.
In our text, Paul writes about two specific ways in which we are to treat our enemies.
Never Seek Revenge, v. 19. The world says that revenge is sweet. In fact, some of our favorite movies portray the sweet satisfaction that supposedly comes from getting even. The truth is however, that revenge is never sweet. It never leaves a Christian feeling satisfied. Revenge is not sweet. Revenge is bitter. It leaves a bad aftertaste that just won't go away.
And so, this list of commandments and instructions for how to treat other people says very simply "avenge not yourselves." Just don't do it.
I know what you are thinking. I just cannot stand for that person it get away with what he has done to me. It isn't right and it isn't fair. He should pay. He should feel what I feel. But according to this verse, no matter how serious and harmful it may have been, we are never qualified for nor have the right to render punishment of the offense ourselves. We are to leave that to the wrath of God. Here Paul quotes from the Deuteronomy 32:35. In His divine time, the wrath of God will come and justice will be served.
But merely not returning evil for evil does not fulfill our responsibility. To withhold vengeance is one thing. It requires only doing nothing. But God requires, with the last command, not only that we don't do something negative but that we do something positive. And sometimes the positive part is more difficult.
Overcome Evil With Good, vv. 20-21. In verse 20, Paul quotes Proverbs 25:21-22. To heap coals of fire on his head represents the burning pain of shame and guilt. Returning evil with good actually is way of witnessing to the lost and assisting the convicting power of the Holy Spirit.
The illustration of verse 20 is followed by the principle in verse 21. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. There are two part to this. Don't be overcome by evil, that is, do not allow the evil done to us by other people to overcome and overwhelm us and don't allow yourself to be overcome by your own evil response. Our own evil is more detrimental than the evil done to us by others. It is evil itself that must be overcome and that can be accomplished only with good.
In the way we treat other people, the general public as well as personal enemies, requires of us supernatural living. It means counteracting our natural human instincts. It means determining in advance to be honest in all things and to always do what is right. It means to go to great lengths to get along with everybody. It means never seek revenge. It means to do something positive for your enemy.
Don't just be a hearer of the word. Be a doer. And start right now.