Chapter 43

Don't Forget Your Brother

Romans 14:13-23

 

 

Romans 14:13-23 continues Paul's exhortation to unity in the church.  Often there are unity movements that serve only to downplay the importance of doctrine.  "It doesn't matter what you believe just as long as you love Jesus" is the familiar cry.  But what we believe is important.  We are commanded to teach sound doctrine, to expose error and false teaching and to earnestly contend for the faith. 

 

So how do we balance the maintenance of sound doctrine with the call to Christian unity?  There is one basic thing that needs to establish before we look at the text.  The underlying premise of this is that every belief that you have is not a "test of fellowship."  There are some doctrines that are fundamental and, thus, are essential for Christian fellowship.  The fundamentals of the Christian faith are doctrines like the existence of God, the deity of Christ, the inspiration of the scriptures, the creation of all things by God, salvation by grace through faith without works, eternity - death is not the end but only the beginning.  Heaven and hell are real places.  God lives in and through us in the person of the Holy Spirit.  God's will is for us to grow in Christlikeness.  Jesus is coming again both to judge the world and to gather His children.

 

Beyond these fundamentals there are some doctrinal distinctives which help us to define our fellowship – things like eternal security, the charismatic gifts no longer available, baptism and local church authority. 

 

These are the majors and they define for us a test a fellowship.  And what the Bible says explicitly is right or wrong, we are going to say explicitly.  But there are also minor beliefs that people hold that are not explicitly taught in the Scriptures and therefore are not essential for fellowship.  It is these kinds of issues that Paul is addressing in Romans 14-15. 

 

In some minor issues, we will never agree, but we must open our arms and receive each other, not judging someone who ultimately does not answer to me but to God and not despising with an air of superiority.

 

In the text before us to, Paul establishes his Christian liberty but then quickly adds some five specific ways in which our liberty should be guarded by self-imposed limitation for the sake and consideration of those who do not feel that they have such liberty.

 

Paul uses the eating of meat as an illustration of his liberty and of the ways in which liberty must be self-limited for the sake of a brother.  Notice, verse 14a - I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself.  "I have no dietary restrictions from the Lord.  I can eat it all.  I have the liberty in Christ to eat any and all kinds of meat."  But, while I can do something (in terms of my vertical relationship with the Lord) that does not mean that I should do something (in terms of my horizontal relationship with my brother in Christ.  Permission is not a commandment.  Liberty requires self-control and self-imposed limitations.  So what kinds of consideration should be guiding my self-imposed limitation to liberty?  There are five principles in this passage all stated in negative terms.

 

 

#1 - Don't Cause Your Brother To Stumble, v. 13.

 

While we are not to be judgmental, neither are we permitted to cause another Christian to stumble.  Your liberty can be something that your brother trips over and falls into sin. 

 

There may be some activity or practice that is not inherently sinful.  Problem areas vary from society to society and from person to person, but the principle never changes.  The loving, caring Christian will determining in his mind and heart to be sensitive to any weakness in a fellow believer and avoid doing anything, including what is innocent in itself and otherwise permissible, that might cause him to morally or spiritually stumble, see I Corinthians 8:7b-13. 

 

It is dangerous to cause another Christian to sin.  Matthew 18:6  But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.  The first consideration then, is don't cause a brother to stumble and sin.

 

 

#2 - Don't Grieve And Destroy Your Brother, vv. 14-15

 

Not only should we be careful to not cause a brother to sin, we should not even cause them to be "grieved".  The Greek word means distress, heaviness and sorrow.  We are not to hurt another believer. 

 

So far as meat was concerned, Paul had a conviction, based on direct revelation from the Lord that he was free to eat, that nothing was inherently unclean.  But he also recognized that everyone saw this issue the same way.  And some felt strongly that some foods were unclean. 

 

Now we have to move slowly here and be careful.  The philosophy that "its wrong for you but all right for me" is slippery slope.  Right is right and wrong is wrong.  The relativism and situation ethics of our modern world is a flawed philosophy that has crept into Christianity.  If something is wrong, it is wrong for everybody.  However, under the category of things that are not wrong, are things that some people think are wrong.  For someone to do something which they believe to be wrong, even it is not wrong, is wrong for them because it forces them to violate their conscience, to override their conscience, the sense of right and wrong, see I Timothy 4:2.  You should never violate your conscience.  Nor should you ever try to get another person (Christian) to violate his/her conscience.  This will grieve that Christian, his peace of mine, his joy, his witness, perhaps even his assurance of salvation.

 

We are not to grieve another Christian.  A Christian can be hurt or grieved from watching another Christian say or do something he considers sinful.  The hurt is deeper if the offending brother is admired and respected by the other brother.  To grieve a brother in such a way is not, according to Paul, a walk according to love. 

 

The requirement at the end of verse 15 overlaps the previous one - it is very similar although considerably stronger.  The word for "destroy" refers to the loss of one's spiritual well-being.  Not only can you hurt a believer, you can injure them.  Hurts go away relatively quickly.  Injuries take a lot longer to heal.  Some injuries are permanent.  Not only is it important that you not cause a brother to sin, it is also important that you not hurt nor injure your brother in Christ.

 

 

#3 - Don't Damage Your Witness, vv. 16-19

 

Don't give grounds for unbelievers to be able to criticize the cause of Christ or speaking against the gospel.  It is all too easy for liberty to degenerate into carnality and worldliness.  The Scriptures often caution us about abusing our liberty in Christ.  I Peter 2:16  As free, and not using your liberty for a cloak of maliciousness, but as the servants of God.  Galatians 5:13  For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.  You have the freedom to drive, but not to drive recklessly (too fast, in the left lane).  You have the freedom to go to the movies but not films that are filled with nudity and vulgar language.  Abusing your liberty will give the wrong impression about the Christian life to a watching world.

 

We must be careful not to give the wrong impression about the Christian life and we must be careful not to get the wrong impression about the Christian life.  The "hot" issues are not always the "real issues."  In Paul's day, the hot issues (according to verse 17) were meat and drink but the real issues were "righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost."  The hot issues were external and temporal.  The real issues are internal and eternal.  All three of these three things are revealed in scripture as being part of the fruit of Christ being in your life (righteousness - Philippians 1:11; joy and peace - Galatians 5:22).  According to verse 18, those who serve Christ in these internal attributes will be pleasing to God and approved of by men.  Work mostly on being a righteous person - make that the pursuit of your heart - along with peace (not inner peace but at peace with other Christians) and experiencing joy.  Our pursuit should be for the things which produce peace and the things which will be edifying of other Christians, v. 19.  Here is the another "one another " of the passage.  First, receive one another, then do not despise or judge one another, now, edify one another.  Words of encouragement rather than words of criticism about another Christian will strengthen, rather than damage, your witness to a watching world.  Let everyone hear you say only edifying remarks about other Christians.  Colossians 4:6  Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

 

 

#4 - Don't Demolish The Work Of God vv. 20-21

 

The work of the Lord is bigger and more important than your little, puny exercise of freedom.  Is it more important to you to be able to eat meat (or what activity it is that is the issue of your Christian liberty) or to promote the work of the Lord, not cause other Christians to sin, not damage your testimony to a watching world or not disrupt the unity of the church?  We need a sense of priority.  What you can do with a clean conscience becomes a sin to you if you through it selfishly cause another Christian to sin, v. 20b-21. 

 

#5 - Don't Do What You Doubt, vv. 22-23

 

Not only should you never violate your conscience, in the last two verses of the chapter, Paul urges his readers to avoid those things that cause him to doubt.  "If you doubt, don't!"  If you have a sincere conviction from God about a matter, keep it to yourself and do not try to force everybody else to accept it.  No Christian can "borrow" another Christian's convictions and be honest in his Christian life.  Your convictions must be your convictions.  If somebody else tells you that something is alright but you have your doubts, then you are better to not do it, than to do it full of doubt.  We must live by faith. 

 

Don't cause your brother to stumble

Don't grieve and destroy your brother

Don't damage your witness

Don't destroy the work of God

Don't do what you doubt

 

During WWII, shipped had to travel in convoys across the Atlantic Ocean because of the menace of the German U-boats.  Under those circumstances, all vessels had to adjust their speed to that of the slowest.  This is the idea Paul is driving home here.  Sure, not all Christians are identical vessels.  But love will not permit us to ignore all the vessels.  Just as a shepherd must pace the flock to accommodate the slowest and the youngest lamb, the church must move together in unity with no one being left behind.  Be considerate of others.

 

In Romans 14 Paul says we should not endeavor to change one another to suit our preferences, but instead we should change our conduct so as not to offend the brother.